A Daily* Slice of Ham

The Origin of the Name Spencer as Envisioned by all Young Boys Named Spencer

February 24, 2009 · 4 Comments

Time: Circa 200 A.D.

Location: A cave

(an innocent boy en route to gather firewood for his family stumbles upon an evil witch in the middle of a seance)

Evil Witch:  Whom dare disturbs me!?!

Innocent Boy:  My pardon, ma’am. Didn’t mean to interrupt. 

Evil Witch: Silence!!  What is your name, boy? 

Innocent Boy: (frightened)  Uh, um, uh…

Evil Witch:  What is your name, BOY!?

Innocent Boy: Uh, um, uh…

Evil Witch:  Very well.  If you don’t give me a name I shall give you one!  (cackles)  For disturbing me you shall pay the price. (points wand towards him)  From now on I curse you with the name of Spencer, a name so Waspy that you’ll be despised by intimidating rural men and every young, nice woman you’ll meet will want to befriend you!

Innocent Boy: Oh.  Except for that first part, that doesn’t sound so bad.  Actually, that will be nice to have some female companionship.  I really want a girlfriend.

Evil Witch: A girlfriend?!?  (cackles)  Who said anything about a girlfriend? These girls will just want to befriend you but will completely dismiss you as a romantic partner.  They will refer to you as “Spence” and “Spencey” and you’ll always be their sweet, funny friend that’s “just like a brother” to them!

Innocent Boy: Spencey!?  NOOO!!!!

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