Law and Order Producer Dick Wolf’s Worst Nightmare

FADE IN:

THE KODAK THEATRE 

M.C.

Good evening.  I would like to welcome everyone involved in Dick’s life: his beautiful family, friends, colleagues, directors, actors, teachers, ex-girlfriends, rival producers, former bullies and arch nemesis who are all gathered here tonight to honor TV mogul, Dick Wolf.  You’ve all shaped him into the successful man he is today so we thank you for your presence this evening.  Please sit down.

PAN OVER A FULL HOUSE

(Cont.)

To start off the night we will proceed with the traditional “Lifetime Achievement Award” role call.  To perform this ceremony I’d like to introduce Dick’s 5th Grade gym teacher, Curt Hightower.  Although Curt has lost a good majority of his eyesight and hearing over the years, he has graciously accepted the position.  

CURT enters from stage right and leans into the microphone.

CURT

Please stand up when your name is called.  (Pressing an index card directly into his face)  Wolf, Dick.

DICK stands up to acknolwedge his name.  CURT does not see him.

(Pause)

CURT 

Wolf, Dick!

DICK waves his arms and yells “Here”  but to no avail.

CURT

WOLF, DICK!

DICK violently jumps up and screams to grab CURT’s attention.  Again without success.

   CURT

WOLF, DICK!

WOLF, DICK!

WOLF, DICK!